CHAPTER XIV

1DURING dinner, Mr. Bennet scarcely spoke at all; but when the servants were withdrawn, he thought it time to have some conversation with his guest, and therefore started a subject in which he expected him to shine, by observing that he seemed very fortunate in his patroness. 2Lady Catherine de Bourgh’s attention to his wishes, and consideration for his comfort, appeared very remarkable. 3Mr. Bennet could not have chosen better. 4Mr. Collins was eloquent in her praise. 5The subject elevated him to more than usual solemnity of manner; and with a most important aspect he protested that he had never in his life witnessed such behaviour in a person of rank—such affability and condescension, as he had himself experienced from Lady Catherine. 6She had been graciously pleased to approve of both the discourses which he had already had the honour of preaching before her. 7She had also asked him twice to dine at Rosings, and had sent for him only the Saturday before, to make up her pool of quadrille in the evening. 8Lady Catherine was reckoned proud by many people, he knew, but he had never seen anything but affability in her. 9She had always spoken to him as she would to any other gentleman; she made not the smallest objection to his joining in the society of the neighbourhood, nor to his leaving his parish occasionally for a week or two to visit his relations. 10She had even condescended to advise him to marry as soon as he could, provided he chose with discretion; and had once paid him a visit in his humble parsonage, where she had perfectly approved all the alterations he had been making, and had even vouchsafed to suggest some herself,—some shelves in the closets upstairs.

11“That is all very proper and civil, I am sure,” said Mrs. Bennet, “and I dare say she is a very agreeable woman. 12It is a pity that great ladies in general are not more like her. 13Does she live near you, sir?”

14“The garden in which stands my humble abode is separated only by a lane from Rosings Park, her Ladyship’s residence.”

15“I think you said she was a widow, sir? 16has she any family?”

17“She has one only daughter, the heiress of Rosings, and of very extensive property.”

18“Ah,” cried Mrs. Bennet, shaking her head, “then she is better off than many girls. 19And what sort of young lady is she? 20Is she handsome?”

21“She is a most charming young lady, indeed. 22Lady Catherine herself says that, in point of true beauty, Miss de Bourgh is far superior to the handsomest of her sex; because there is that in her features which marks the young woman of distinguished birth. 23She is unfortunately of a sickly constitution, which has prevented her making that progress in many accomplishments which she could not otherwise have failed of, as I am informed by the lady who superintended her education, and who still resides with them. 24But she is perfectly amiable, and often condescends to drive by my humble abode in her little phaeton and ponies.”

25“Has she been presented? 26I do not remember her name among the ladies at court.”

27“Her indifferent state of health unhappily prevents her being in town; and by that means, as I told Lady Catherine myself one day, has deprived the British Court of its brightest ornament. 28Her Ladyship seemed pleased with the idea; and you may imagine that I am happy on every occasion to offer those little delicate compliments which are always acceptable to ladies. 29I have more than once observed to Lady Catherine, that her charming daughter seemed born to be a duchess; and that the most elevated rank, instead of giving her consequence, would be adorned by her. 30These are the kind of little things which please her Ladyship, and it is a sort of attention which I conceive myself peculiarly bound to pay.”

31“You judge very properly,” said Mr. Bennet; “and it is happy for you that you possess the talent of flattering with delicacy. 32May I ask whether these pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse of the moment, or are the result of previous study?”

33“They arise chiefly from what is passing at the time; and though I sometimes amuse myself with suggesting and arranging such little elegant compliments as may be adapted to ordinary occasions, I always wish to give them as unstudied an air as possible.”

34Mr. Bennet’s expectations were fully answered. 35His cousin was as absurd as he had hoped; and he listened to him with the keenest enjoyment, maintaining at the same time the most resolute composure of countenance, and, except in an occasional glance at Elizabeth, requiring no partner in his pleasure.

36By tea-time, however, the dose had been enough, and Mr. Bennet was glad to take his guest into the drawing-room again, and when tea was over, glad to invite him to read aloud to the ladies. 37Mr. Collins readily assented, and a book was produced; but on beholding it (for everything announced it to be from a circulating library) 38he started back, and, begging pardon, protested that he never read novels. 39Kitty stared at him, and Lydia exclaimed. 40Other books were produced, and after some deliberation he chose “Fordyce’s Sermons.” 41Lydia gaped as he opened the volume; and before he had, with very monotonous solemnity, read three pages, she interrupted him with,—

42“Do you know, mamma, that my uncle Philips talks of turning away Richard? 43and if he does, Colonel Forster will hire him. 44My aunt told me so herself on Saturday. 45I shall walk to Meryton to-morrow to hear more about it, and to ask when Mr. Denny comes back from town.”

46Lydia was bid by her two eldest sisters to hold her tongue; but Mr. Collins, much offended, laid aside his book, and said,—

47“I have often observed how little young ladies are interested by books of a serious stamp, though written solely for their benefit. 48It amazes me, I confess; for certainly there can be nothing so advantageous to them as instruction. 49But I will no longer importune my young cousin.”

50Then, turning to Mr. Bennet, he offered himself as his antagonist at backgammon. 51Mr. Bennet accepted the challenge, observing that he acted very wisely in leaving the girls to their own trifling amusements. 52Mrs. Bennet and her daughters apologized most civilly for Lydia’s interruption, and promised that it should not occur again, if he would resume his book; but Mr. Collins, after assuring them that he bore his young cousin no ill-will, and should never resent her behaviour as any affront, seated himself at another table with Mr. Bennet, and prepared for backgammon.